It is so easy to blame others, circumstances, environment for who we are today. “I was abused.” “I grew up in poverty.” “I grew up wealthy.” “I wasn’t hugged enough as a child.” “I didn’t know my parents.” “A family member sexually assaulted me and the rest of the family protected him and told me I was lying when I spoke up.” “I was thrown into the caregiving role because of someone else’s choices.”
While all of those statements are true as a point of fact and are a piece of our history, they are only the deciding factor of who we are and get to be now if we continue to allow them to be. By continuing to blame our past for our present, we give up so much power. We give permission for the abusers and the circumstances and the environment of our past reality to continue to influence and harm our current reality. When we blame someone or something else, we immediately begin to justify why we are the way we are and it takes the onus off us to change anything. “I can’t because of…”
But, when we take responsibility for our lives, we can take apart the connecting point between having been abused or mistreated or given unfavourable circumstances and environments and identifying as an abusee or innocent bystander to our lives. We can then realize the responsibility for abuse lies in the lap of the abuser. The responsibility for circumstances and environment that were outside of our control at the time lies on the shoulders of those who were responsible for them at that time. Our responsibility is to heal and to choose who we desire to be going forward and take actions in the now to create that reality.
When we take ownership of our life, we begin to treat and heal our emotional wounds. This can be a very painful process initially as we have often allowed those wounds to fester. From a physical perspective, the healing of a clean, healthy wound is not painful. The only time it is painful is when it is fresh and the nerves are raw or when it is infected. Coming back to emotional pain…it stays painful when we choose to ignore our responsibility to heal it and it festers (becomes infected). Once we do the work of treating the infection (taking responsibility for what we can control), the healing can begin and the pain eases off even when we aren’t completely healed to scar tissue.
Taking responsibility for our healing, our choices, our present circumstances/environment/associates becomes our super power. WE get to decide how we live our life. WE get to decide from what we cut ourselves free. WE get to decide what medicine we take to clear the stink of infection from our lives. WE get to decide what we give permission to enter our lives. Yes, there will always be things outside our realm of control. Others also have free will to choose. BUT, WE get to choose even in those moments what our response plan is. WE get to be the creator of our own destiny regardless of what shit has been flung into our path. WE get to choose our glitter.
WE have super powers!!
Dance. Fight. Care.
Cher T Sparkle Queen
Sparkle Kingdom Warriors